Martha Stewart: I Kill Drunk Turkeys

The bad news for turkeys meeting Martha Stewart is that she'll kill you with her bare hands. The good news is that she'll get you drunk first. The celebrity cookbook author, appearing on Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report, told the host that she treats the birds to airline-sized mini-bottles of cognac or bourbon before dispatching them. Colbert then taught Stewart how to make a few hors d'oeuvres, including Wonder Bread with mayonnaise spread on it and topped with Kool-Aid mix. (More Martha Stewart stories.)