Is there anything more cringe-worthy than a 24-year-old babe sleeping with 84-year-old Hugh Hefner? Maybe: Living in Hef's "squalid" Playboy mansion and being part of his stable of second-string women who feel like prostitutes servicing a viagra-popping, plastic-surgery-obsessed octogenarian, reports the Daily Mail. The buxom crew's bedrooms have "mismatched, random pieces of furniture, as if someone had gone to a charity shop," recalls former pillow sharer Izabella St. James. "Beds are disgusting—old, worn and stained."
"Everything in the mansion felt old and stale, and Archie the house dog would regularly relieve himself on the hallway curtains, adding a powerful whiff of urine to the general scent of decay," she sniffs. The women have to follow rules and a curfew "stricter than any my parents" demanded, said another Playmate. The payoff? A hoped-for spread in Playboy, pocket money from Hef, doled out weekly in his bedroom—after he picked up the dog doo on his carpet—and a roll with the "Sex God," who merely lay there like a "dead fish," recalls St. James. (In related Hef news, click for more on the rash of celebrity engagements.)