Playboy Mansion a 'Squalid' Prison

Is there anything more cringe-worthy than a 24-year-old babe sleeping with 84-year-old Hugh Hefner? Maybe: Living in Hef's "squalid" Playboy mansion and being part of his stable of second-string women who feel like prostitutes servicing a viagra-popping, plastic-surgery-obsessed octogenarian, reports the Daily Mail. The buxom crew's bedrooms have "mismatched, random pieces of furniture, as if someone had gone to a charity shop," recalls former pillow sharer Izabella St. James. "Beds are ­disgusting—old, worn and stained."

"Everything in the mansion felt old and stale, and Archie the house dog would regularly relieve himself on the hallway curtains, adding a powerful whiff of urine to the general scent of decay," she sniffs. The women have to follow rules and a curfew "stricter than any my parents" demanded, said another Playmate. The payoff? A hoped-for spread in Playboy, pocket money from Hef, doled out weekly in his bedroom—after he picked up the dog doo on his carpet—and a roll with the "Sex God," who merely lay there like a "dead fish," recalls St. James. (In related Hef news, click for more on the rash of celebrity engagements.)