5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

Three unlikely characters—an elderly drug mule and two Orthodox rabbis—made the headlines in a bad way this week:

• 89-Year-Old Drug Mule Pleads Guilty: Leo Sharp was your typical 80-something retiree, splitting time between his place in Indiana and a property in Florida where he grew his beloved lilies. And then, of course, there was the occasional cross-country drive with hundreds of pounds of cocaine for a powerful Mexican cartel. The 89-year-old pleaded guilty this week.
• Rabbis Accused in Kidnap, Torture Plot: It sounds like the premise of a bad movie or a worse joke: A Jewish husband won't agree to a divorce, so a couple of tough rabbis make him an offer he can't refuse. FBI agents arrested two rabbis today and accused them of plotting to kidnap and torture a man in order to force him to agree to a religious divorce. It may not have been their first such job.
• Clerk With Machete Chases Off Armed Robber: In a move police strongly recommend others don't try to emulate, a machete-wielding clerk chased a would-be armed robber out of a Long Island deli—even after the suspect fired a warning shot from his handgun. Surveillance video caught it all.
• NFL Linebacker Faces Gun Charges: Embattled 49ers star Aldon Smith has been charged with three counts of illegally possessing assault weapons, stemming from a party-turned-shootout at his San Jose-area abode last year. Smith himself ended up getting stabbed in the melee.
• Cops: Driver Leads Chase So He Can Finish Big Mac: Talk about a Mac Attack: Ohio police say a driver who initially refused to pull over explained that he just wanted to finish his Big Mac. Coincidentally, he also had a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit.

Click for more crazy crimes. (More crime stories.)