Bar Hopeful Planned Super Bowl Massacre

A would-be bar owner was so angry over being denied a liquor license that he nearly shot up the Super Bowl, the AP reports. Toting an assault rifle and 200 rounds of ammo, Kurt William Havelock got all the way to the Super Bowl parking lot before he thought better of the blood-soaked “econopolitical confrontation” promised in an 8-page rant sent to local media.

"I will not be bullied by the financial institutions and their puppet politicians," Havelock wrote. "I will test the theory that bullets speak louder than words." He ultimately confessed to his parents, broke down in tears, and turned himself in. Local officials said neighbors had shot down the castle-themed bar he proposed. “They’d heard he wanted to call his place ‘Drunkenstein’s,’” a city spokeswoman explained. (More Super Bowl XLII stories.)