Michelle McNamara's posthumous memoir was released Tuesday, and in it, Patton Oswalt's late wife reveals her struggle with the baby blues after the couple's daughter, Alice, was born. "I was inconsolable for the first two weeks," she writes, recalling that Oswalt told friends she was struggling with "postpartum depression," Radar reports. But "it wasn’t new-mom blues," she writes. "It was old-mom blues. Holding my newborn daughter, I got it. I got the love that guts you, the sense of responsibility that narrows the world to a pair of needy eyes. At 39, I understood my mother’s love for me for the first time"—and her own mother had passed away two years prior.
McNamara was working on I'll Be Gone in the Dark, which mostly focuses on her almost 10-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer, when she died in her sleep in 2016. Oswalt, who wrote the book's afterword, honored her and the book Tuesday, ETOnline reports, tweeting a photo of the book atop her gravestone. "You did it, baby," he wrote. "The book is excellent, the writing brilliant. You tried to bring kindness to chaos, which was your way." He tells Entertainment Weekly he was determined to see the book to completion when McNamara died, and that even though he's proud of it, "it’s very painful" she couldn't finish it herself. "I think other people are going to really love the book, but to me, there’s so much that’s left unsaid and unfinished." (Oswalt has found happiness again.)