A Snake Needs a Name: Your Ex's

The brown snake of Australia is among the most poisonous in the world, which is apparently why a zoo Down Under has decided to let you name one of them after your ex. That is, if you win Wild Life Sydney's Valentine's Day contest, which is giving competitors the chance to explain why their former paramour deserves to have his or her name permanently attached to one of its resident venom-spewers, per Mashable.

All you have to do is briefly (you only get 25 words) explain why your ex deserves the "prize," donate at least $1 to the zoo's wildlife conservation fund, and get your application in by next Wednesday (the day before V-Day). Sweet passive-aggressive revenge won't be the only spoils if you win: The zoo will also throw in an annual pass to visit your ex's namesake. The winning name will be announced on Valentine's Day. (The San Francisco Zoo once did something similar, but with a much smaller creature.)