Essayist Declares NYC Dead, and Seinfeld Isn't Having It

Earlier this month, an opinion piece by comedy club owner James Altucher went viral after declaring that "New York City is dead forever." In the New York Times, Jerry Seinfeld has responded with a scathing op-ed in defense of his adopted hometown. Yes, "this is one of the toughest times we’ve had in quite a while," he writes, but the "last thing we need in the thick of so many challenges is some putz on LinkedIn wailing and whimpering, 'Everyone’s gone! I want 2019 back!'" He mocks Altucher, without naming him, for whining about things like not being able to go to the theater, meet people, or play chess in public. "Oh, shut up," writes Seinfeld. "Imagine being in a real war with this guy by your side?" He advises Altucher to "wipe your tears, wipe your butt and pull it together."

Not that Seinfeld wants him sticking around. Noting that Altucher said he's moving to Florida, Seinfeld bids him good riddance because he just doesn't get New York. The reason the city will recover is because it has an energy and a vibrancy unlike any other place else in the world. The "true greatness that is New York City is beyond rare," he writes. "Feeling sorry for yourself because you can’t go to the theater for a while is not the essential element of character that made New York the brilliant diamond of activity it will one day be again." See the full column. (More Jerry Seinfeld stories.)