Here Are the 10 Top Jokes From Edinburgh Festival

Winner is a pun about pasta
By Newser Editors,  Newser Staff
Posted Aug 22, 2022 11:23 AM CDT
Here Are the 10 Top Jokes From Edinburgh Festival
A view of the Edinburgh Fringe shop and ticket office on Edinburgh's Royal Mile, in Edinburgh, Scotland. Every August, the Scottish capital of Edinburgh plays host to an arts festival.   (Jane Barlow/PA via AP)

The annual Edinburgh Festival Fringe has crowned its best joke of the year, along with nine runner-ups. Fair warning: If you don't like puns, you won't like this year's winner from part-time stand-up Masai Graham. The arts festival runs every August in the Scottish capital (pandemic permitting), and each year, a panel of judges compiles a list of jokes from the festival's many comedians, per the Guardian and BBC. At that point, the public votes for their favorites. This year's top 10:

  1. "I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta."—Masai Graham
  2. "Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it's next-day delivery."—Mark Simmons
  3. "My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock."—Olaf Falafel
  4. "By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I—but it is the same house and it is the same family."—Hannah Fairweather
  5. "I hate funerals—I'm not a mourning person."—Will Mars
  6. "I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that's four hours of my life that I'm definitely getting back."—Olaf Falafel
  7. "I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx."—Richard Pulsford
  8. "I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery."—Tim Vine
  9. "Don't knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate."—Sophie Duker
  10. "I can't even be bothered to be apathetic these days."—Will Duggan
(More jokes stories.)

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