Seeking Your Purpose in Life? You Might Feel Anxious Over It

"Find your purpose." That's become such common advice that few question it. But rather than inspirational, it can feel like a burden: How do I go about finding this, and what if I never do? This is called "purpose anxiety"—the gnawing sense that one's life should have an overarching purpose, yet it's unclear how to discover it. "There [are] a lot of commands to find purpose, but not a lot of support to find purpose," said Michael Steger, director of Colorado State University's Center for Meaning and Purpose, per the AP.

• Definition: The term "purpose anxiety" appears to have been coined in 2014 by UPenn grad student Larissa Rainey. Its definition can be elastic: Can you have only one purpose or many? Does it have to involve service to others, or something that gives only you great meaning? Think of purpose as a compass that will help direct your energies toward a central life aim, says Todd Kashdan, founder of George Mason University's Well-Being Laboratory. A sense of purpose can help "close that gap between who you are and what you ideally want to become," he notes.

• Recent roadblocks: Psychotherapist Jody Day notes many places where we've traditionally found meaning have started to fade in recent decades. Religion, for instance, often offered purpose and meaning to believers. But the number of those who identify as religious has dropped significantly over the years. Others, meanwhile, used to find purpose in ensuring their children had a better life than they did; many don't have confidence that will be the case anymore, Day says.
• Advice I: For Jordan Grumet, author of The Purpose Code, there's big "P" Purpose and little "p" purpose, and too many people stress about the first and ignore the second. "Big 'P' Purpose is goal-oriented—it's usually big and audacious, and often unattainable," he says. Better, he notes, to focus on little "p" purpose and pursuits that some might simply call hobbies: gardening or collecting baseball cards, for example. Or purpose can be found in a job, or volunteering. "What could I do that would light me up and fill me up and be a good use of my time?" Grumet says.
• Advice II: According to Steger, you might begin by realizing you don't have to pin down a purpose immediately—searching for purpose in itself helps generate meaning in life. "In our culture, we are so outcome-focused and process-adverse," he says. "Probably my best advice is to take your time and be all right not always knowing."

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