Time to Retire the Crotch Shots, Madge

More than gloves came off for Madonna during her divorce, and it seems no amount of pleading can stop the 50-year-old’s “forced erotica,” Jan Moir writes in the Daily Mail. Madge’s crotch shots for her new Hard Candy album are “the death rattle of a freshly divorced diva desperately seeking assurance that she can still make the grade as a sex goddess.”

“Looking utterly miserable, she poses in thigh-high bondage boots and the kind of underwear that can only be described as surgical,” Moir continues. Madonna thinks the erotic fetishism is “radical and sexually subversive. In reality, she looks like a post-op Hulk Hogan after he decided he needed a surgeon to put him in touch with his feminine side.” (More Madonna stories.)