2009's Least Sexy Men

The Boston Phoenix rolls out its 100 unsexiest men list, taking into account both looks and karma. Here’s a taste:

• Rush Limbaugh: “America’s ugliest moment of 2009? Rush Limbaugh, his man-boobs a-jiggle, bouncing at the CPAC podium.”
• Alex Rodriguez: “Could those performance enhancers have been shrinking Alex’s, er, strike zone?”
• Joaquin Phoenix: “Looks like a Hasidic Elvis Costello.”
• Jimmy Fallon: “He’s nailed down the doofus-narcissist-crazy-spiky-gel-hair demographic most coveted by advertisers.”

• Lil Wayne: “Starting to look like an extra from the Thriller video.”
• Warren Jeffs: Creepy polygamist cult leader is a “latter day taint.”
• Robert Mugabe: “Dictatorial madmen are supposed to have names that inspire terror. Really? You can’t do better than ‘Robert’?”
• Toby Young: “Looks like a British inbred cousin of James Carville.”
• Dick Cheney: “Need we say more?”

(More unsexy stories.)