Fibs Are Good for Marriage

Raina Kelley is not happy with this "new spate of advice talking about how lying is bad for a relationship," she writes in Newsweek. "That is my line in the sand. Marriages cannot exist without dishonesty." Now, she doesn't mean the big stuff, like adultery. She's talking little fibs. "I don't want to sound like Erma Bombeck, but you cannot be completely honest with a person you spend so much time with." Some examples:

• It's OK if you mean what isn't being said: "Take the famous query 'Does this make me look fat?' What's really being asked is 'Have I become less attractive to you over the course of our relationship?' And that is why the answer is always no, even if it's not technically true."
• Hyperbole hides real annoyance: "Instead of lecturing me on picking up and folding my clothes, (her husband) simply says, 'The next time I have to pick up your pants, I'm going to douse them with gasoline and throw them out the window.' Or from my end, it would sound something like, 'If you have my iPod charger, I'm sending you to Bolivia in a box.'"

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