“I like big bucks, and I cannot lie/You mortgage brothers can’t deny.” Those are actual lines from an actual horrible rap knockoff that was actually performed at the Washington Mutual President’s Club Awards Dinner in 2006—you know, around the same time that the company was building itself a “mortgage time bomb.” A full transcript of the event—including all the lyrics of the song—was introduced as evidence at yesterday’s Senate Permanent Investigations Subcommittee hearing.
You can read the full first verse in the image at left, and you can see the full transcript at Dealbreaker, complete with stage directions like, “Kathy and her rappers move into the audience tossing paper play money into the crowd. ” The song ends by repeatedly exhorting the audience to “make me big bucks.” And, according to Politico, at the same event they held a mock funeral for competing subprime lender Countrywide Financial—which would be a lot funnier if both companies hadn't actually died two years later, taking much of the financial system with them. (More Washington Mutual stories.)