10 Perfect Wedding Gifts for Carrie Prejean

Deposed beauty queen Carrie Prejean and NFL quarterback Kyle Boller are getting “opposite married” tomorrow, which means you have just one day left to find the perfect wedding gift. Jessica Wakeman offers up 10 ideas on The Frisky:

1. Video camera: Get her an upgrade so the next non-sex tape she makes of herself masturbating comes out even better.
2. A crown: “You know, because the Miss California pageant dethroned Carrie for ‘contract violations,’” and she probably misses hers.

3. Vaseline: “For those glossy pageant teeth.”
4. Spiderwoman costume: Or, more appropriately, “hoochie Spiderwoman costume.” She modeled it for Women of Marvel—see it here.
5. Amnesty: Take your pick—for either the $5,200 she owes the Miss California pageant organizer for her boob job, or the $64,857 she owes her Christian PR firm.

For the complete list—including the one thing this “super douche-y” beauty queen needs most—click here. (More Carrie Prejean stories.)