'Balders' Demand Trump's Hair Certificate

The president’s done his part; now it’s Donald Trump’s turn to show us some proof—of the authenticity of his hair. “Balders,” Vanity Fair explains in a challenge to the real estate mogul, are “a small but increasingly vocal group of conspiracy theorists” who’ve “hijacked the news cycle,” and it’s time to put the matter of Trump’s scalp to rest. Is it natural, or a hairpiece? Or perhaps a transplant?

Already, a number of theories have reared their head, writes Juli Weiner. The most radical balders believe it to be “a deliberately deceptive hairpiece that only resembles a bad comb-over,” or possibly “several smaller hairpieces stitched together.” Sure, Trump has called it “actually my hair,” but that doesn’t rule out a transplant. “A secondary, long-form follicular examination”—certified by a barber—“is necessary.” If balders remain unsatisfied, “we insist that Trump submit to air, wind, and Dutch rub tests.” (More Donald Trump stories.)