Warren Jeffs: Cancel Trial, or I'll Sic God on You

Polygamist Warren Jeffs' decision to represent himself in court continues to go swimmingly: Today, he relayed a statement from God and threatened the court with biblical destruction unless it ended his trial, reports AP. "I, the Lord God of heaven, call upon the court to cease this open prosecution against my pure, holy way," Jeffs read. If it fails to do so, "I will send a scourge upon the counties of prosecutorial zeal to make humbled by sickness and death."

Oddly, the judge did not immediately set him free. Instead, she warned him not to repeat his threat in front of the jury, whom she had cleared from the room before his statement. "If you call for their destruction or in any way say that they will be injured or damaged because of their service, you will be removed from the courtroom," she said. Jeffs faces life in prison if convicted on charges that he abused two underage girls at his compound in Texas. This actually isn't the first time he's played the doomsday card. (More Warren Jeffs stories.)