David Letterman returned to the Late Show last night with an evening full of jokes about—what else?—a jihadist’s death threat against him. “Tonight, you people are more to me, honestly, more than an audience … you’re more like a human shield,” he said, before apologizing for arriving onstage late. “I was talking to the guy from CBS,” he explained. “We were going through the CBS life insurance policy to see if I was covered for jihad.”
And it didn’t end there: He worked in jokes about President Obama, George Lopez, Kim Kardashian, and of course, Jay Leno. “State Department authorities are looking into this. They’re not taking this lightly. They’re looking into it. They’re questioning, they’re interrogating, there’s an electronic trail—but everybody knows it’s Leno,” he said, before going into a segment rounding up all the many people who hate him. Watch the videos for more, including Dave’s “Top 10 thoughts that went through my mind after hearing about the threat.” (More David Letterman stories.)