12 Things the Movies Teach Us That Just Aren't True

Lost dogs always make it home, men bring women flowers all the time, and strangers tend to strike up witty conversations in elevators, right? Well, according to the movies, yes. Writing for the San Francisco Chronicle, Mick LaSalle takes a humorous look at a dozen truths the movies have taught him—that are actually completely bogus:

• Outdoor fruit stands have a 0% chance of survival: Set one up, and the inevitable will happen—your livelihood will be destroyed in a car chase. And "all anyone will care about are the idiots driving the cars. It's not fair, is it?"

• Americans all share a single post-work routine: Walk to fridge, open a beer. "Unless they make more than $100,000 a year. Then it's wine or spirits."
• What restraining order? Annoy a woman long enough, and she'll fall for you: "This myth dates back at least to the Astaire-Rogers movies and continues to the present time with Kevin James and Salma Hayek in Here Comes the Boom," writes LaSalle.
• All heroes drink their coffee in an identical way: Black. And absolutely no sugar.
• It's really easy to have sex standing up: LaSalle debunks this one by pointing out that this position is actually "rather clumsy and requires a lot more mutual cooperation than it's worth—and risks lower back distress."

Click for his complete list, which takes issue with deadly coughs and accents. (More movies stories.)