Inside the Wacky World of Amazon.com Reviews

The Wall Street Journal takes a delightful look at the thousands of "amateur comedians" parading around Amazon.com's review pages, but beware: Clicking on any of the product pages below could seriously inhibit your productivity for the rest of the day. Our favorite reviewer quips of quirky products IDed by the Journal:

• How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer: A one-star review dubbed the book "TOO Informative. Read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined."
• The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China by Icon Group International: "I was thinking, 'Sweet! Finally a version of Outlook that will run on my wooden Chinese toilet seats!!' Little did I know this has **NOTHING** to do with Outlook for Windows or any other Microsoft product."

• A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates by RAND: "Now, when people ask me to 'Quick, pick a random number!' I just say 'Hang on, let me get out my book.'"
• Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer: "For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. 'Use a knife!' they say. Well ... my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. 'Shoot it with a gun!' Background check ... HELLO!" From another reviewer: "What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone ... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time."
• Fresh Whole Rabbit: "When poached in Tuscan Milk there is no hare with which to compare. I'm thinking some sliced bananas would be a great garnish. If only I could slice them..."
• And one of our favorite Newser product-finds, the very expensive Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable: "Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics."

Says an Amazon spokesperson, "We are always amazed by the creativity of our customers." (More Amazon.com stories.)