Fidel Looking Forward to 'Vacation'

Fidel can't wait to retire. The soon-to-be-former dictator published a new newspaper column today, telling Cuba he was relieved to be rid of his exhausting presidential duties. “The night before, I slept better than ever,” Castro wrote. But he couldn’t give up his newspaper gig because, “I didn't have the right to keep silent for so long.”

Beside today’s column beamed a smiling, waving “Companion Fidel,” a departure from his typical stern, green-fatigued photo. The chipper retiree mocked the presidential candidates, who, thanks to his retirement, were “forced to proclaim their immediate demands to Cuba so as not to alienate a single voter.” “Change, change, change!' they shouted in unison. I agree. 'Change!' But in the United States,” he wrote. (Read more Cuba stories.)