Guy in 'Seriously, I Have Drugs' Shirt Is Seriously Busted

The first rule about drugs is you never wear a shirt saying you have drugs. The second rule about drugs ... well, John Balmer of, why, yes, Florida, apparently didn't get past that first rule. As the Tampa Bay Times reports, Balmer was minding his own business in line at Kmart, sporting a black T-shirt reading "WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs," when in walked a sheriff's deputy. This apparently fed Balmer's sense of generosity, because he turned to the person behind him and tried to hand them what the arrest report calls a "bag of green leafy substance."

Oddly, that person had no need for a "bag of green leafy substance" in the presence of law enforcement, so Balmer, 50, proceeded to the checkout, where he deposited the "bag of green leafy substance" on the ground while he paid. Curious police found pot and meth in the bag, and gleefully posted Balmer's photo on Facebook, captioned, "Pay close attention to the T-shirt." Balmer faces one count each of possession of marijuana and methamphetamine, reports NBC. (More weird crimes stories.)