Cops: Guy Tried to Have Sex With a Van While High

Michael Henson may or may not know how sex works. Authorities in Dayton, Ohio, say the 35-year-old was arrested Tuesday after a witness called 911 claiming he tried to have sex with a parked van. The witness said she saw Henson swinging a stop sign before pulling down his shorts and, well, getting a little too personal with the van's front grill, reports WDTN. He remained in that position for a while before passing out in a nearby yard, the woman said. Henson—whom police believe was high on a narcotic, per WHIO—is charged with public indecency. (More weird crimes stories.)