In fairness to Rogelio Andaverde, two masked men did force their way into his Texas home and take him away at gunpoint in front of his terrified wife. It's just that police say he staged the whole thing—because he wanted to spend some time with the boys and was evidently afraid to tell his wife, reports the San Antonio Express-News. Police swarmed the scene with helicopters when his wife phoned in the apparent kidnapping, but they found no trace of him. The 34-year-old returned home two days later, saying he'd been released, but his story unraveled under questioning. He's now charged with making a false report to police. "We have people file false reports all the time," says the Hidalgo County sheriff. "But I've never had someone do it just to get out of the house." (More weird crimes stories.)