He Wanted a Crossbow, Was Wearing Stretchy Pants

Is that a crossbow in your pocket, or are—just, no. Police in Florida say a man stole a crossbow from a store by shoving it down the front of his pants, reports NBC News. More specifically, the Brevard County Sheriff's Office says "one of the world's dumbest criminals" stole a 33-inch crossbow valued at about $1,300 from a True Value store in such a manner, per Fox News and the New York Post. You can watch the video here or via the sheriff's Facebook page. To be fair, police say the tactic actually worked, at least temporarily.

The thief did, in fact, successfully leave the store, according to the sheriff's office. The video shows him using a single crutch in an apparent ruse to help disguise why he was walking funny. Store employees noticed the theft about two weeks later, checked surveillance video, and, voila. Police then arrested 46-year-old Darren Durrant, who faces a charge of felony petit theft. Durrant has two previous felony theft convictions. "You just can't make this stuff up," wrote Sheriff Wayne Ivey. (More weird crimes stories.)