Stephen Colbert has just one problem with the Texas GOP’s plan to criminalize sodomy: It doesn't clarify what kind of sodomy it's talking about. “See, I’m all for banning the gay kind, but sometimes sodomy can be a depraved, unnatural act of debasement between a man and a woman, as God intended,” he said on the Report. Sodomy is “basically anything freakier than a firm handshake face-to-face between you and your lawful wife before you go to your separate twin beds.”
Still, he agrees this is ultimately “a foolproof way to end homosexuality in Texas. Gay people are good, law-abiding citizens, so if we make sodomy illegal, I’m sure they’ll stop doing it. And if they don’t, we’ll send them to jail, where there is no sodomy.”
(More sodomy stories.)