Your New '12 Days of Christmas' Bill: $50K

Well, it's the first day of Christmas (or just, you know, "Christmas"), so it's time to get cracking on the gifts named in that perennial earworm "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Turns out you can—and PNC's Christmas Price Index did—put a price on love, reports Fox News. The total bill runs just under $50,000 for 2024. And like everything else, the list was hit by inflation, to the tune of a 5.4% increase over last year. A look at the gifts that traditionally take us through the Epiphany on Jan. 6:

• A Partridge in a Pear Tree: Alaska's state bird—the Willow Ptarmigan, or western partridge—in a Home Depot Bartlett pear tree will run you a combined $160.
• Two Turtle Doves: Well, European turtledoves turn out to be endangered, but they would run $750.

• Three French Hens: The French Bresse hen turns out to be some fancy chicken, clocking in at $347, up 5% over 2023.
• Four Calling Birds: Intrigue! Some believe the line is really "colly birds," or blackbirds in Britain. They'll cost you $600, same as last year.
• Five Gold Rings: Figure $1,245, though that could jump depending on carats, ring size, etc.
• Six Geese-a-Laying: A half-dozen birds will set you back $900, or 15% more than 2023.
• Seven Swans-a-Swimming: These birds, it turns out, aren't cheap—$13,000, the same as 2023.
• Eight Maids-a-Milking: Figure about $58, the same as last year.
• Nine Ladies Dancing: A nine-member female dance troupe rings in at $8,557, up 3% over 2023.
• 10 Lords-a-Leaping: Britain's upper house of Parliament is the House of Lords, making it the American equivalent of the Senate. Fox hysterically notes that while "it remains illegal to physically or proverbially purchase a senator for any purpose including leaping," if you did try to hire 10 of them to leap, the PNC estimate is $15,579.65. That's up 7.2% over last year.
• 11 Pipers Piping: An 11-piece wind ensemble will run $3,715. Don't forget to tip.
• 12 Drummers Drumming: A dozen of these bad boys for two hours will set you back an estimated $4,017, also up 15.6% over 2023.

(More Christmas stories.)